If we have the ability to do everything, there will not be a journey and there will not be a story. However, if we permit ourselves to fail, that is experience and that is life.
In this episode, I discuss imposter syndrome, how to overcome it, and grow in confidence. It is a popular topic because many people suffer from it. I will share four steps to combat this.
01:09 Episode Intro
01:45 The percentage of people who suffer from imposter syndrome.
02:20 What is imposter syndrome?
03:20 Famous women who suffer from imposter syndrome.
04:45 What made Ruth realize that she is suffering from imposter syndrome.
06:31 Imposter syndrome as a sign of leveling up.
06:31 Imposter syndrome is natural and human.
07:41 Being honest about where you currently are.
08:07 Focusing on who you can help.
09:12 Permitting yourself to fail.
09:34 The lesson that Ruth learned being a converted perfectionist.
Hi, I’m Ruth, a business coach specializing in helping freelancers and business owners adjust their mindset and their marketing so they can get fully booked with clients they LOVE to work with. I’ve helped hundreds of self-employed women achieve the time and money freedom they craved.
I’ve started this podcast because when I first went all in and left the corporate world to be a freelancer, I was grateful for any work that came my way. After over 20 years of freelancing and working for other people, I started to realize I’d created a glass ceiling for myself.
In 2017, I finally started listening to that voice that had been telling me for a long time that I wasn’t doing what I loved and fulfilling my true potential. It took a critical illness to give me that wake-up call. I don’t want the same to happen to you.
You can expect practical advice, inspiring stories, and a lot of aha moments as we uncover and kick to the curb all the obstacles you have been putting in your way.
I’m on a mission to inspire women to start and play bigger in business.
Free stuff: https://www.ruthgilbey.com/the-sold-out-solution-2022
Ruth Gilbey 00:04
Hello and welcome to the inspiring women in business podcast. My name is Ruth Gilbey and I'm a business and marketing coach. I'm on a mission to inspire women to start and play bigger in business. Now I started this podcast because when I first went all in and left the corporate world to be a freelancer, I was just grateful for any work that came my way. After over 20 years of freelancing and working for other people, I started to realize I'd created a glass ceiling myself. It was in 2017 when I finally started listening to that voice that had been telling me for a long time, that I wasn't doing what I loved, and I wasn't fulfilling my true potential. It took a critical illness to give me that wake-up call. And I don't want the same thing to happen to you. You can expect practical advice, interviews, inspiring stories, and a lot of aha moments as we uncover and kick to the curb all the obstacles you've been putting in your way.
Ruth Gilbey 01:09
Hello, and welcome back to the inspiring women in business podcast. Today I'm going to be talking about how you can overcome imposter syndrome and grow in confidence. I'm actually asked quite a lot to talk on this topic. It's a really popular topic. If you head over to my Instagram account @Ruth_Gilbey, you'll find in some of my Instagram lives, I'm talking to guests about the importance of imposter syndrome. And I've been asked to guest on things. It's such a popular topic, I think because so many of us suffer from it.
Ruth Gilbey 01:45
Did you know that a whopping 85% of people suffer from imposter syndrome? Which is really staggering. But equally because of all the people I've actually spoken to. It's not surprising. And it's also quite comforting because I suffer from imposter syndrome. And I've been suffering from it for quite a long time. So in this episode, I want to talk about what it is who suffers from it, and how you can actually combat it as well as how you can go around a kind of reframing it and understanding it and learning from it as well.
Ruth Gilbey 02:20
So firstly, what is imposter syndrome, it's where you doubt your abilities, or you feel like a fraud. And it usually pops up when you say you could do something or push yourself outside of your comfort zone. It's often linked to people who are successful, high achievers. And it's also been linked to people who work in tech industries or industries where, say, for instance, you're not measured as much about you don't have as many kinds of qualifications around things or monitored as closely or I also see it come up quite a lot with entrepreneurs and business owners as well. Perhaps you're just sort of doing things a lot. And you're is this working? Do people like what I'm doing? Am I being successful? Is this the right way of doing things? All those kinds of questions that run through our minds. As I say it can affect high achieving people who find it hard to accept their success.
Ruth Gilbey 03:20
Many famous women have confessed to suffering from imposter syndrome. I was reading about this earlier. And just like so many amazing women that I was just shocked to hear have confessed to suffering from it, I think it really helps us normalize it. And let me give you some examples. Lady Gaga, Tina Fey, Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, Kamal Harris, Olivia Coleman, Natalie Portman, and Watson. So many amazing women have all confessed to suffering from imposter syndrome. And I love this quote from Meryl Streep. I mean, Meryl Streep is one of my favorite all-time actresses, and she's been quoted saying, "Why would anyone want to see me again, in a movie? I don't know how to act. So why am I doing this? I mean, that's coming from Meryl Streep, who is an Oscar-winning, amazing actress, so popular, who has confessed to having these moments of doubts herself. And it makes me think about my own story as well.
Ruth Gilbey 03:28
So for many years, I didn't actually suffer from imposter syndrome. And for quite a long time, I thought that that was good. I thought it was great. I was quite smug about my confidence that I didn't really suffer from it. Of course, I have moments of doubts, but I think what I'd been doing is masking how I really felt. And also, I think I was in my comfort zone.
Ruth Gilbey 04:45
It was really only in 2015 when I really changed my business. And I started learning more about digital marketing and more about coaching and brought in all my previous business experience and decide I did have my own business that I really suffered from imposter syndrome. And actually, it got worse over the years in a way because I started to really identify with some of these amazing, inspiring women out there who were growing their business who were doing amazing things. They were really inspiring me to take action. But at the same time, I had all this self-doubt. And I felt like a fraud. And I just felt like someone was going to laugh at me. And that's when I realized I was suffering from imposter syndrome. But I realized that actually, it was because I had been in my comfort zone for quite a long time when I worked for other people, it felt safe to me, I'm not saying it feels safe to everybody, but working for other people contracting for other people being kind of instructed what to do showing up and doing something I didn't really suffer from imposter syndrome. But when I started learning new things, when I had my own business, that's when it really cropped up.
Ruth Gilbey 06:01
So I want to say right now that there is no shame in suffering from imposter syndrome. We're human beings who think and feel so labeling yourself or berating yourself isn't going to help you. And actually, I hope that sharing these stats about the 85% of people who suffer from imposter syndrome. And I suspect it's possibly higher than that as well. And also that all these amazing accomplished women are suffering from imposter syndrome, I hope that offers you some comfort.
Ruth Gilbey 06:31
Also, imposter syndrome could be a sign that you are pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, it could be a sign that you're also either starting to do something that's challenging you doing something a bit different, or it could be a sign that you're actually leveling up in your own business as well because it crops up for me even all the time. And I know it's a signal, it's a sign that there's something going on. So I try and stand back from it and observe what's going on and self-coach myself and speak to my coach about it as well. And understand why is this cropping up again. So it's really important to be kind to yourself, and I want to share my tips on how you can manage it, be kind to yourself and humanize it as well.
Ruth Gilbey 06:31
So how can you combat it? First of all, it's knowing that it's natural, it's human, and possibly a sign that you're doing something that's pushing you outside of your comfort zone. And you won't always feel like this, the more you do something, the less imposter syndrome you will feel, then it could crop up. But there's something new coming along. But knowing giving yourself that evidence that it won't always be there.
Ruth Gilbey 07:41
Number two is being honest about what you don't know. I think when we put so much pressure on ourselves to fake it before we make it that everything is okay we know everything is just added pressure on ourselves, you know enough. And you're it's okay to say that I'm new to this. We can't be good at everything or know everything we learn and unlearn all the time.
Ruth Gilbey 08:07
Number three is focusing on who you can help if you're a service provider, or even if you own any type of business if you're a service provider, any type of business, you help people and your ideal client might have been a version of you at some point. And where you are right now will help your perfect client. So think of them, not your peers. I think many of us focus on what our peers want, not what our ideal clients want. And this was like my North Star when I was starting my business I was so self-conscious, worried about being visible, worried about what people would think of me, worried about what my business friends or my network would think of me, worried if I'd looked stupid, worried if I would fail. And my North Star was that to think about the person who needs my help. And often you being a few steps ahead of someone is going to be more helpful to them than the person that is the guru that is miles further or so far away. They can't help you.
Ruth Gilbey 09:12
And number four is and this is the absolute game-changer for me. Again, I wanted someone to tell me the strategy for a successful business the strategy for doing things in my business, whether it was my marketing, launching my membership launching my program, I wanted someone to tell me the answer, but you need to permit yourself to learn by failing.
Ruth Gilbey 09:34
I am a bit of a converted perfectionist. I had so much pride. I didn't want people to see me fail, but I've learned from things not going to plan and I've got the stories and lessons to share having imposter syndrome and learning something new or adding new skills or rich experiences that you can pass on to others by striving for something by aiming for something and allowing yourself to fail because that's what success is about a series of failures a lot of the time, if we pressed a button and could do everything, it would be a bit dull, wouldn't it if we just got to the end destination without any kind of journey without any kind of story. That's not life. And that's not experience.
Ruth Gilbey 10:17
So let me recap those for you again, remembering that it's number one, it's natural and human, and could be a sign that you're pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. Number two is being honest about where you are right now, that could help the person that needs your help that could help your ideal client. Number three is focusing on who you can help to focus on your ideal clients, your customers, not your peers, not family members and friends. They might not be your customers, they might not understand what you do. And number four is a massive game-changer is letting go of the outcome and permitting yourself to learn by failing. I hope you found that useful. I'll see you soon.
Ruth Gilbey 11:09
Thanks for listening and subscribing to the inspiring women in business podcast. Please do take a few moments to leave me a review. I love getting reviews they absolutely make my day. Also, go and check out my business-building hub. In there, you're going to find lots of great resources, free resources for business owners who are launching, running, or growing their businesses and I have a brand new masterclass for you. It's called the Sold Out Solution and in that, I share my exact roadmap to help you get your first online clients in 30 days. And guess what? It's only a 29-minute masterclass as well. So I get straight into the value. Lots and lots of great advice for you in there. And also, for those of you who watch the masterclass a freebie for you within the masterclass as well go and check it out.
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